Lately on Twitter
I've followed momversation
A panel of moms
Who famously blog
Discussing certain issues
Important to us.
Mommy guilt over working
I also feel it.
Momversation is an interactive vlog between several bloggers from their panel of fairly well-known mommy bloggers. Selected bloggers discuss momversation's topic of the week, which is usually related to parenting and always provocative.
Their most recent discussion really resonated with me: mommy guilt over working. I spent the first nine months of my son's life as a stay-at-home mom while my husband worked at whatever substitute teaching jobs he could find. In that time, he was unable to find
With him back in school, I had to get a full-time job just to keep us afloat -- and some months, even buoyancy seems impossible. I'm sure many of you are familiar with this situation. So I applied at a few preschools and day care centers in the area, figuring that as an employee, I would have an easier time getting my son into one, and also would probably receive a tuition discount.
So here I am, working 40 hours a week with other people's kids, rather than being with my own son -- out of necessity, yes, but it's still enough to make me wish I was helping him grow and learn, and witnessing his milestones, not theirs.
Sometimes I wish that I could work from home, that I was brilliant enough to start my own little Etsy shop or something. But from what I hear from work-at-home moms (and dads) is that the guilt is still there -- and it's even harder to get work done, so they often feel like they fall short in both categories.
Here's the good news: I have recently learned of an open spot in one of the infant/toddler classrooms that he will be able to take. All we have to do is fill out the paperwork and get everything set up for him to go. This is such a weight off of my mind. Next semester, my husband will be student teaching, and if there wasn't a spot for my son I would have to quit, just when we're starting to become a little more financially stable. I'd exhausted all my other child care options, too. This is it.
So I'm super excited (and relieved) that he'll be coming to school with me. My mom will still watch him on Mondays and Fridays, since they could only guarantee me a part-time spot for him. But that's okay for now, because she doesn't work those days. I've got daughter guilt about this one, though. I hate that I'll now be bogarting two days every week out of my mom's schedule.
The lesson here? You do what you can with what you've got. And you forgive yourself for needing help. You forgive yourself for needing to work and being away from your kids.
What about you? Any moms or dads feeling the guilt out there? If you don't have kids, do you feel guilty about working for other reasons? Or do you feel guilty about something else entirely? Leave a comment. I'd love to hear what everyone feels about this.